Make it worth it

It’s that time again, summer is here and the housing crisis on the West coast is back in full swing…not that I care, luckily for me I’ve got my van to live in when there is nothing else. Last year I lived in my Van for two months, from September to November, and it was much easier than now for multiple reasons. Number one being that it was fall so I could easily layer up and feel comfortable, where as now it’s mid-summer and hot hot hot. That’s what lakes are for. I also had a storage unit that I put most of my belongings in to free up space in my van, and now things are much more crowded. Even though I drove all the way back to Alberta to put things into storage at my family home. I still have an overwhelming amount of clothes, blankets, and little homeless belongings. Last, but not least, I no longer have the little space I have to myself. I now share my space with my 8 month old redbone hound dog, Jeremiah. And yes I did name him after the song. I wasn’t planning to get a dog, I’ve always wanted one, but when a weird sketchy guy came into my work selling puppies I knew our Southern hearts needed each other. You see, after I lived in my van last year, I moved into my own place for the first time, worked full time, as well as decided to give my relationship with the man I had loved for years another go. Unfortunately, it was too soon after our break-up and we couldn’t make amends and move on fully to start something new and fresh. For myself, I never took the time to myself to go traveling and do the things I had blamed him for holding me back from. Looking back on everything now, I can see how most of the things I was upset with, were things that I could have changed myself whilst still in the relationship. But I was having an early life crisis. After going from one long term relationship of almost 5 years in high school to university to the next long term relationship in university to post-grad. I went straight from high school to university. I went straight from one serious relationship to the next. In my head, I couldn’t stop feeling like I was missing out on my twenties. What are your twenties for? When I turned 25 last year,  I realized I had gone halfway through my twenties without doing any big and long life changing travel escapades, I freaked out. Maybe  now, unlike anytime before this day and age, there is some kind of pressure to BE twenty whatever that means, go to Thailand, go to Music Festivals, be noncommittal, “free”, and experimental. It use to be, go to university, follow a career path, find a good partner, save up money, put a down payment on a house, and build a foundation. Well, the times they are a changin’ Somehow, I ended up right in between these two pressures. I went to university of art and design, I found a great guy, we dreamt of the future, and then I graduated and maybe a post-grad depression set in, followed by an early life crisis…and now here I am. I wouldn’t say I’ve failed at anything, although I have an unsettling amount of  remorse for how I abandoned the one person that would do anything for me. I needed to do what I needed to do. Now is the time to take the actions I have held myself back from taking. What had I envisioned a year ago? Traveling. Lots of traveling. So now the question is, where to?      

 

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